I know that it's probably hard to be a news writer. I mean, I have enough trouble as it is updating this blog on a semi-regular basis...but I think I need to stay away from Yahoo on slow news days. On the front page right now is a story with the title "U.K.'s Bad Girls of Pop: Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse have big hair, big earrings, and even bigger attitudes." THAT'S the basis of your entire story? There are literally THOUSANDS of pop stars that are bitches, but because 2 of them come from the U.K. and have big hair, that means that they're similar enough to write an entire piece on? If the news is that slow, I could have thrown them a bone: "House of Stone and Mystery: Whatever happened to Martin Page?"
At the risk of jinxing them (knock on wood), the Cubs have won 5 in a row. At the same time, since being no-hit by Justin Verlander, the Brewers are 11-2, so we haven't gained any ground. That's ok...there's a lot of season left...
So I know I've been promising my thoughts on the Sopranos finale, but every time I sit down to do it, it just seems like it's going to take so long to get everything organized in the way I want to say it that I wind up talking about something else. Maybe I'll do it sometime tomorrow...plus, I still can't get a decent YouTube clip of the final scene.
"Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"
While Claire and I were out on an ice cream run last night, I realized that we were going to be near the Best Buy, so we made a stop there on the way home so I could officially pick up a copy of the new White Stripes album. They had aisle endcaps set up highlighting the best music of the 00's. I know that a lot of them are set up just to sell CDs that may need some help moving off the shelves, but still...when discussing the best albums of the last 7 years, why would you put in City of Evil by Avenged Sevenfold? Now I loved that album as much as the next metalhead, but I don't think it would make my top 5 for 2005, let alone one of the best of the 00's.
It was after looking around a bit more that we noticed that there were also similar setups with the best of the 90's and 80's. Now for anyone who knows Claire, you won't be surprised that she got an excited look on her face and made a beeline straight for the 80's rack (and who could blame her). We quickly realized that a lot of the displacy was just greatest hits CD's from artists that were big in the 80's.
The good news is that most of them were only $9.99.
The better news is that one of them was this bad boy:
Now I do have a few qualms about the CD. It's pretty much a "Prince Greatest Hits Lite" CD. There's no Darling Nikki. There's no Partyman from the Batman soundtrack (more on this later). There's not one track from Dirty Mind, Controversy or Erotic City. And I can't even explain why they chose to put Money Doesn't Matter 2 Night on the album, and left off Batdance, Pop Life and Delirious, which were all top 10 hits.
Then again, this is 17 tracks of Prince for only $10, and for that I am grateful. Seeing how there are already 2 and 3-CD box sets out that are also called "greatest hits" I guess this one was designed for casual Prince fans to pick up on a whim, which is exactly what we did.
(Speaking of the Batman soundtrack, don't you miss the days when 1 artist would record the entire soundtrack for an album. Best example: Bon Jovi doing the whole Young Guns II soundtrack. I listened to that cassette about 500 times when I was little.)
Claire and I were listening to the CD on our way home, and I started thinking about how Prince is pretty underrated these days. I mean sure, Musicology was pretty good, he showed that he could ball on Chappelle's Show and his bring-the-house-down performance at the Super Bowl this year was fantastic, but before all of that, Prince didn't seem like he was getting much love from the masses, especially the younger crowd.
So with that in mind, here's a list I made of artists I think are underrated by today's masses. Now this is not a comprehensive list, and I'm not saying that these are the greatest bands in the world. i just think it's time that they get a little more respect is all.
Prince- What really bothers me is that Prince does not get as much credit as he deserves for his guitar playing abilities alone. This guy can shred with the best of them. If you don't believe me, just listen to the first 15 seconds or so of When Doves Cry and then come back to me.
(BTW, for those of you who don't know me well, I would like to point out that I LOVE how most bars now have digital jukeboxes. ANY digital jukebox will have When Doves Cry on it. One of my absolute favorite things to do when I'm at a bar is to play that song. Once it starts, everyone in the bar stops what they're doing and gets a really confused look on their face, but no one has the balls to complain about it because it's Prince so they just have to sit there for 3 minutes with a song playing that completely clashes with the whole bar atmosphere. But to make it up to them, usually I'll play some shitty bar song after that like Crazy Bitch. Next time you're at a bar, try it. Trust me.)
ZZ Top- When's the last time you met a huge ZZ Top fan? When's the last time you went and bought a ZZ Top CD? And yet, if I gave you a copy of their greatest hits and you listened to it in the car, I guarantee that 90% of you would recognize (and enjoy) at least 5 of their songs. Their catalog looks like a Murderer's Row of just-plain-cool songs, from Legs and La Grange all the way down to Sharp Dressed Man, Cheap Sunglasses and Gimme All Your Lovin'. Go on iTunes right now and buy a few tracks. I can wait.
Soundgarden/Stone Temple Pilots- I put these two together because for both of them, it seems like they'll always be overshadowed by the Nirvana/Pearl Jam giant. And since Chris Cornell had Audioslave and Scott Weiland has Velvet Revolver and rehab every 2 years, a lot of focus has been taken off of their older work. Now I'm not saying the Soundgarden and STP are forgotten by any means, but I think a lot of people forget just how great these two bands were. I bet even non-rock fans would be able to sing along with Interstate Love Song and Black Hole Sun. Both are another example of greatest hits collections that do not let up from beginning to end...except for STP's Days of the Week which sucked. but they more than make up for it with the killer acoustic version of Plush.
Alice In Chains- I know I could have put them in with the above category, but I think that Alice In Chains gets left out of the picture more than any other band of the 90's. They came out in the grunge era and wrote dirty, nasty riffs, and so they were called grunge. But most people just remember Layne Staley dying and wonder "What could have been?" without remembering what actually was. Bottom line is that these guys weren't grunge, they weren't metal, they weren't anything that I've ever heard played before or again. They were a band that could release Dirt, and awesomely heavy album that still managed to get airplay and then switch gears to Jar of Flies, only to return to bone crushing riffs on their self-titled finale.
Pantera- I'm not the biggest and most passionate Pantera fan on the planet, but we watched the Pantera Behind The Music last night (which was completely fucking sad), and it got me thinking. They were always overshadowed by better-known metal acts like Metallic, helmet, Slayer and Megadeth, but these guys were part of the reason real heavy metal came back from the goofy hair metal of the 80's. But a lot of people don't realize that Far Beyond Driven was the first metal album to top the Billboard charts. They were one of the best metal bands ever, and most people couldn't name 2 of their songs. I think they deserve just a little more "Re....SPECT!"
(Ok, that was a little lame.)
By the way, if you haven't seen the UNRATED trailer for Superbad, watch it below. This movie is going to be hysterical.
You know what I hate? I hate when something shitty is going on, and by the time you finally get used to it and accept it, you find something else out that makes it even worse. Like, if your girlfriend broke up with you and right when you were starting to get over it, you found out that not only was she cheating on you with your best friend, she also gave you the clap.
That's how I feel like about gas prices. I feel like every time I go and fill up, I need a penicillin shot.
Look, I know that living in California, gas prices are going to be high. That just comes with the territory. A few weeks ago, prices flirted with $4.00 a gallon, but have settled to around $3.15 or so for now. At first I was completely frustrated. In November, we were mere pennies away from cracking the $2.00 a gallon mark for the first time since I lived out here. And ever since, it's been going up and up to the current price it's at now.
But I can't do anything about gas prices, and it didn't do any good to be all pissed off about it, so I slowly learned to live with the prices.
But yesterday I learned that we're getting screwed over a little more than I thought, and I'm pissed off all over again.
Yesterday, I learned that gas expands in heat. So if you buy gas and it's hot out, you're paying for gas that you ain't getting.
Almost a century ago, the gas industry agreed to define a gallon of gas as 231 cubic inches, which was measured at a temperature of 60 degrees. When individual stations buy gasoline, it's at that 60 degree temperature. But when it's in the pump waiting for you to put it in your car, it takes more than a gallon of gas to produce the same amount of energy.
Gas retailers ignore the temperature swings and always dispense fuel as if it's 60 degrees. As a result, gas is an average of about 5 degrees warmer than the federal standard. So basically, you're paying for a gallon of gas, but you aren't getting the whole gallon.
Now the opposite is true as well...gas does contract in cold weather, and it's during the wintertime that most people will make their money back. But for people in southern or western states where it's pretty much warm all year, this break never comes.
Apparently, there are class-action lawsuits happening soon against gas companies because of this technical overcharge, which is all well and good.
Now look...I'm not really that mad at the fact that gas expands and I may or may not be paying for gas that I'm not getting. Apparently the expansion of gas only offsets the cost of gas by about 3 to 10 cents a gallon. Filling up my 13 gallon tank, that's only a difference of 39 cents to $1.30 per fill up. The thing that pisses me off the most is that when the gas companies were asked if they could install temperature adjusting pumps in their stations to recalculate gas costs based on the temperature, their response was:
"We can't afford it."
That wasn't an exact quote, but it's pretty much what they said in a nutshell.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to working on my prototype automobile. It's fueled by my intense hatred of immigrants.
(No, I don't hate immigrants. If you don't know what that's from, watch this.)
I was away in San Diego ("You stay classy...") for the weekend, but I'm back. I'm a bit sunburned on one side of my face, but it's not too bad.
Anywho, I'm here to write.
First of all, I really am going to try to get something written and up here on what may be known as a "regular basis". I know that I've mentioned that before and then disappeared for weeks before returning (I'm like herpes in that way), but I really want to get this going while I make the transition from Blogger page to actual website.
Yes, I am planning on launching Funktopia as a real-life website. I'm reading a book on it now. It's a bit slow going, but I could see Funktopia alive and well in the next few months. Probably before the summer is over.
But for now, things seem to be going pretty good for my little ol' blog here. We'll probably pass 1,000 visitors today...and that's since I put the little counter at the bottom, which was only about a month and a half ago! So people are actively searching out Funktopia. We actually have a couple links too (for realz!).
The first one I came across came from Steroid Nation, which cited the entry I wrote about Mark Prior's disappearing legs:
And the second came from what is quickly becoming one of my favorite websites, Thunder Matt's Saloon. If you're a fan of Matt Murton (and who isn't?), the Cubs, or baseball in general, check it out. You have to love any website that lists the "Best Michael Barrett Fight" of the past week. Classic.
And it's not just that...we're international! Check out where some of our traffic comes from:
I think people in other countries may find their way here because they're attracted to the funny pictures and pretty colors.
Ok, on to the main topic of discussion today...
DOUCHE!!!!!
That's right, folks. Bud Selig is a big douche. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Selig/Jason Giambi lover's spat that's going on, I'll give you the short version.
We all know that steroids have been a problem in baseball for a while now. Up to this point, no big name superstars have failed a steroid test, even though the current steroid testing system, which doesn't even detect the most popular kinds of steroids, is a joke.
Along comes Jason Giambi, who makes vague comments about being sorry for "taking that stuff" to the media. He knows that he's talking about steroids. The reporters knew he was talking about steroids. The country knew he was talking about steroids.
To me, this took a lot of guts. I'm sure there are many players who have taken or are currently taking steroids that would do anything short of killing their mother to cover it up. But even with all that steroid damage to his reproductive organs, Giambi still had enough balls to go to the media and say "You know what, steroids are a problem in baseball and something needs to be done about it."
But if Giambi pretty much admitted to using steroids, why didn't he actually come out and say "I'm sorry for taking steroids" instead of hinting at it by saying "I'm sorry I ever did 'that stuff'"? Well if you remember, Mr. Giambi was involved in some grand jury testimony about steroids, which, I believe, is still going on today, in which case, he may not even be able to legally talk specifics about steroids and his past use of them.
Along comes "Hop-along" Bud Selig on his steroid witch hunt. I assume the conversation between Selig and Giambi went something like this:
Selig: Jason! How are you? Look, I'm going to need you to talk to George Mitchell, the guy I have heading up this steroid investigation.
Giambi: Ummm...I don't know if I want to. I may face some backlash from the players union, and from other players.
Selig: Well if you don't I'm going to suspend you.
Giambi: On what grounds?
Selig: For not listening to me. Look Jason, just play ball and everything will be just fine.
Giambi: I thought you said you didn't want me to play ball.
Selig: No, I want you to play ball...with me.
Giambi: You want me to play for the Brewers?
(Ok, if the last few lines don't make sense to you, go to WalMart and buy BASEketball for $2 out of the discount DVD bin. You'll thank me.)
So here's Jason Giambi, a guy that probably feels sorry for what he did, and thinks that baseball is dropping the ball on this whole steroid thing. And because he's criticizing baseball, Bud Selig thinks he can strong-arm Giambi into doing whatever he wants. I mean, Giambi has never failed a steroid test! How can you suspend someone from their job because they won't cooperate with you when they aren't even required to? That's like me walking down the street and telling someone "Yeah, I killed a guy once" and getting thrown in jail for it!
Now, do I think it would be a good thing for Giambi to cooperate with the investigation? Probably. He should at least sit down with Mitchell and see what's up. But should he be forced to cooperate against his will? Absolutely not. The only good thing is that if Selig tried to suspend Giambi, the players union would tear him a new one and the suspension would probably never happen.
But all Selig is doing is encouraging other players not to come out and talk about steroids. He's encouraging players and owners to keep this a dirty little secret for as long as they can, which is what made this big problem in the first place!
You know, there was a group of people that forced others to cooperate without those people ever doing anything wrong. They were called Nazis.
Random note: Go out to Best Buy and shell out the $9.99 for the new White Stripes album Icky Thump. Skip ahead to track 9, Rag and Bone. Enjoy. It's a good one.
Sadly, today the United States of America gets a little less hung. And a little less hairy.
Alex Klimkewicz, one of my friends from college and fellow Lambda Chi, is packing it all up and moving to South Korea for an entire year starting today. He's going to educate little South Korean kids in the fine art of the English language. Alex, if you read this, please make it a goal to teach the children the following words:
Taint Mung Durk-a-durr (You remember the guy on the bike! "I fucking hate pavement!") Fladunk
Alex's decision to move to another continent just months after graduation is something to be admired. In a time where more and more people graduate college and move back to their hometown and wind up at crap jobs, Alex is doing something with his life and we should all congratulate him for that.
So farewell, Alex. I only have 3 pieces of advice:
Say "Annyong!" as much as you possibly can and laugh to yourself at the genious of Arrested Development.
If the kids ask you what your pants say, calmly reply "They don't say anything. You have to read them."
Don't travel too far north. You know what's in North Korea...
"Update my blog? Ok, I'll do it after one more episode of Lost..."
Yes, boys and girls, I am lazy. I haven't updated my blog in a few weeks. I'm going to try and keep that from happening again. I figure if there's no new posts, people will just stop visiting and I'll lose all 4 of my regular readers!
On a side note, I kept justifying not updating to myself with the old "I've been sick for almost 2 weeks" excuse. While this was true, if I was sick, wouldn't I actually have more time to update? Procrastination is a beautiful thing. I'll tell you about it later...
Anywho, I don't have a whole lot of time right now, but I do hope to get back on track starting today. There's a lot to write about that's happened lately, so look for the following topics to appear in the near future:
Paris Hilton being a dumbass
The Sopranos series finale
My new addiction to Lost
The movie Knocked Up and how it pretty much sucked
Ocean's 13 (which I have yet to see)
A few new CD's that I've bought that are just plain good
