Gross...

The street across from where I work is a one-way street that has metered parking on both sides. There's a few spots at the end of the street where there's free parking, and if I'm lucky, sometimes I can nab one of those spots in the morning and not have to pay to park. On those days, I have to walk the 300 yards or so to get to our building, and I see all the various candy wrappers and cigarette butts and what not that are on the side of the road.

Today I found a condom. Wait..."found" doesn't sound right, because I definitely wasn't looking for it. I guess I "discovered" it.

Either way, there is a used condom on the side of the road. Does this not sound right to you? I mean, it's not the same as finding a shoe in the street. This thing probably has semen in it. That makes it a whole different ball game.

The most disturbing thing is that I've never seen anyone having sex in the middle of this street. So the only other explanation is that someone used this condom at home, didn't throw it out when they were finished, brought it to work, and threw it out of their car when they parked. Maybe they were keeping it in their pocket and it fell out when they went fishing for quarters to feed the meter.

So why would anyone keep a used condom and throw it on the middle of the road?

That's right...they were trying to grow a CHUD Baby!

Chud Baby:

A baby formed from filthy and/or dilapidated used condoms that inseminates an ovum in the grimy gutter or trash receptical in a major metropolitan area. The ovum is usually the result of 1 day or more old hooker vaginal secretions.



Gross.

if you have nothing to do tonight and you're in an 80's mood, check out CHUD and the sequels. They're crap.