For those of you out there whipping your offspring into shape by utilizing the Step2Play middleman, and burning your own fair share of calories on the GameRunner, it's about time Rover joined the fray, eh? The Dog Walker treadmill helps prevent doggy obesity and apparently relieves the dog's stress, all while helping it to exert all that pent-up energy from being cramped up in the house all day. Aside from sporting a smaller, dog-friendly design, casters to enable easy transport, and two side shields to prevent minor tumbling disasters, the machine also sports a safety leash which prevents the pup from sliding off the rear (or giving up on the goal) and a devilish remote control to vary the speed from 0 to 5-kilometers per hour (3.1 mph). So if you're tired of Fido's stomach dragging the ground while crawling around in misery, you can pick up its very own treadmill (to go along with that recently-purchased pedometer) for ¥15,800 ($131).
January 30, 2007
Doggy treadmill gets your pup in shape
January 26, 2007
I can get the rat!
If you didn't hear already, The Departed is being re-released into theaters today for a few weeks. This is by far the best movie of the last year, and if you haven't seen it already, this is your last shot. That is...until it comes out on DVD in mid-February...
January 25, 2007
Sin-Cinati Bungle #9 is busted.
The arrest of Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Johnathan Joseph has members of the team angry, embarrassed and concerned that guilt by association has ruined public perception of the team.
Joseph was arrested early Monday and charged with marijuana possession. He's the ninth member of the team to be arrested since Jan. 1, 2006.
And guess what? Carson Palmer is pissed!
"If it doesn't stop, we're not going to have any fans left, and I don't blame them. It's ridiculous," Palmer said in comments posted on the team Web site.
"We can't get through a month without getting a guy arrested. It happens on another team and they're shocked and surprised to hear about it," Palmer said. "With us, you hear about it and it doesn't surprise you and you just shake your head and say, 'Another one,' " he said.
 Joseph | ||
| Player | Pos. | Charges |
| Johnathan Joseph | CB | Possession of marijuana |
| Deltha O'Neal | CB | Driving while intoxicated |
| Reggie McNeal | WR | Resisting arrest |
| Matthias Askew | DT | Resisting arrest |
| Eric Steinbach | G | Boating under the influence |
| Chris Henry | WR | x-Total of five |
| Frostee Rucker | DE | Spousal battery |
| A.J. Nicholson | LB | Burglary, grand theft |
| Odell Thurman | LB | Driving while intoxicated |
| x-unlawful transaction with a minor (three counts), speeding, operating a vehicle under the influence, felony possession of a concealed firearm, possession of marijuana. First arrest was in December 2005. | ||
January 24, 2007
Remake In A Box
I don't know when it happened, but apparently taking something hysterical, and copying it almost shot for shot is hysterical now. Enjoy...
January 22, 2007
James Brown...STOLEN!!!
James Brown's body still has not been buried...and on top of that, it's gone!
The Godfather of Soul's body has been moved from a temporary resting place in his home, but his attorney isn't saying where.
James Brown's body was moved Thursday from a guarded, climate-controlled room at his Beech Island, S.C., home where it had been since Dec. 30, said Buddy Dallas, the late entertainer's estate trustee and longtime counsel. Brown died Dec. 25 of heart failure in Atlanta at 73.
Dallas would not say why the body was moved, but said no decision has been made on where Brown's final resting place will be.
Brown's six adult children are planning to put the body in a mausoleum, perhaps turning the singer's home — about 9 miles east of Augusta — into a museum that would include his grave. Family members plan to consult with Elvis Presley's family on how they opened Graceland, Presley's mansion in Memphis, Tenn., which attracts 600,000 visitors each year.
January 20, 2007
Here's Where A Lesser Man Would Make A Joke Like "Healthy Pitching Is A Chicago Prior-ity"
But I'll just say that this is good news...
Chicago Cubs pitcher Mark Prior, whose 2006 season was shortened by injuries, says he's feeling good and ready for spring training.
Prior was among Cubs pitchers who threw for pitching coach Larry Rothschild on Friday morning at Northwestern University.
"I've thrown five or six [bullpen sessions] and everything feels good," Prior told the Chicago Sun-Times. "I'm just looking forward to '07 and putting everything behind me."
Prior made only nine appearances in 2006, going 1-6 with a 7.21 earned run average -- well above his 3.51 career ERA.
Cubs manager Lou Piniella said Rothschild gave him a positive scouting report on Prior's progress.
"[Rothschild] said Prior threw the ball better, mechanically, than he did all of last year," Piniella said Friday. "So he is very encouraged."
While Prior works on regaining his pre-injury form, there's the matter of what he'll be paid this coming season. After making $3.65 million last season, Prior is seeking a slight raise to $3.875 million in salary arbitration. The Cubs have offered a slight pay cut, to $3.4 million.
Prior told the Sun-Times the salary haggling is "just part of the business of baseball."
"My agent is working on it, and I'm just worried about what's going to happen on the field in 2007," he said.
January 19, 2007
When I have a celebrity daughter, I'm not going to be embarassing like this dude...and for once, it's not Joe Simpson!
I know that it's Friday morning and the Golden Globes were all the way back on Monday, but I had to post this.
So apparently after the Golden Globes, when Beyonce went home empty handed (Surprise!), her dad got 5 kinds of pissed off. Check it:
"Matthew Knowles told reporters back stage at the Beverly Hills Hilton right after the Golden Globes show ended that his daughter Beyonce was outcasted and overlooked by a bureaucratic good old boy system that is still alive in 2007 as it was in 1967. "Today is MLK's birthday and it saddens me to say that things have not changed for blacks. Working class blacks and blacks in Hollywood are still being discriminated against. We still have a long way to go," he said."
Now that's all fine and good, except for one teeny tiny problem, Matty...
Best Actor Drama: Forest Whitaker
Best Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy
Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson
Best Song: Prince
Best Picture Musical/Comedy: Dreamgirls
You know what, Mr. Knowles is probably right. The Golden Globes didn't give Beyonce an award because she's black. And the only reason they awarded the African American performers above is just because they wanted to rub it in her face even more. It has nothing to do with the fact that she's not as talented as she thinks she is.
Get serious dude. If there was discrimination within the Globes voting, why would the give the Best TV Drama award to a show with multiple blacks and a homosexual in the cast?
He's probably just all butt-hurt because so many British people won Globes, and they kind of sort of brought slavery to America.
Foreigners are stupid sometimes...except the band Foreigner. They kick ass.
Well what the fuck did you think would happen if you drank a whole bottle of vodka in 20 seconds???
January 18, 2007
Another thing that pisses me off...
...is midgets.
Ok that's not true. Well it is...but they're so darn funny at the same time!
No, one of the things that pisses me off is how TV always gives away the best parts of shows just to lure you in. But then once you're pulled in, there's no surprises because you know how that shit's gonna end because YOU SAW IT IN THE COMMERCIALS!
Take this season of 24. I've watched a lot of Fox the past few weeks because the Bears have played on Fox quite a bit. Every 2 minutes, there's a commercial for the new season of 24 and they keep saying shit like "Jack Bauer must sacrifice his own life to help America" or whatever. And it's supposed to be intense and suspenseful because they show shit blowing up in the commercials and such and you're supposed to think "Oh my God! They could kill Jack in these episodes!"
Never mind the fact that no TV show would kill the main character in the first 4 episodes of the season coming off what is regarded as the best season yet. The thing is WE KNOW JACK IS NOT GOING TO DIE. You know how we know that? Because Fox let it leak out that not only is there a 24 movie that's being made, but they've also signed Mr. Sutherland up to do 3 more seasons! So that dude won't die until at least 2010.
Also, I was watching The Office tonight, and they had commercials for 30 Rock on where Tina Fey was about to make out with some dude, and then she saw that he had a picture of her aunt on his table and it turns out that they're actually cousins. So the show comes on and the whole plot of the episode is how Tina Fey finds this guy who's waaaay too good looking for her, but he's still interested in her and she can't figure out what the catch is. She spends the entire episode trying to figure out when something bad is going to happen, and finally, she accepts that maybe she is lucky and this guy that's out of her league actually likes her. Then you find out that they're cousins, and the whole thing blows up in her face. Ha ha ha, everybody goes home.
But I saw the fucking commercial 20 seconds before the damn show started and so I knew the whole time that it was going to happen!
Ugh!
Speaking of Tina Fey, is there anyone in Hollywood who is as much of a Two-Face?
Compare Tina with good lighting...
...to Tina with bad lighting...
Either way, she makes a lot more money than I do. And I can think of a few people worse than she is...
Now we are defenseless in a land where dragons rule...
I couldn't let a whole day go by with no kind of update, so I thought I'd share with you all a recent obsession of mine.
Flash of steel in the mid-day sun
The battle has begun
Blood spills all around us but still we carry on
No mercy we will show to them
The white flag shall be raised
We'll fight for our freedom
Ride towards this evil place
We all stand until the end allegiance to this game...
No, that's not an excerpt from the latest Dungeons And Dragons Dungeon Master's Guide...it's lyrics from Dragonforce, a heavy metal band that I heard for the first time last week, and can't get out of my head.
Normally, I'm not one for really heavy metal. There's either too much screaming, or it just plain scares me. But this band is different. Sure, they have the double-bass drum action going, and solos played so fast and so long they make your pants fly off. But the thing that kicks ass the most about Dragonforce is that they don't take themselves seriously. You know how Tenacious D goes around proclaiming that they're the "greatest band in the world" while the whole time they're letting us in on the joke? But at the same time, while they're spoofing all things hard rock...it turns out that they actually can rock better than most bands out there? It's the same thing with Dragonforce.
Unless of course, they do take 5 minute guitar solos and lyrics about dragons, ancient kingdoms and magical quests seriously. And that's just as entertaining to me.
If you want to hear them, go give them a listen. It's pure geeky pleasure, but it's a pleasure nonetheless. They sound like what Iron Maiden would have turned out like if Steve Perry from Journey was on lead vocals and John Tesh was there to arrange the keyboard parts.
January 17, 2007
This lady sure was Wii-tarded.
With all the hysteria and violence surrounding the PlayStation 3 launch, we were almost positive that it would be the pursuit of Sony's hard-to-find console which would lead to the tragic death of a hopeful gamer. But even though there were numerous scuffles and injuries in the race to secure a PS3, the first and only casualty in the next-gen wars turned out to be a woman trying to win a Wii for her children -- and she lost her life in much more bizarre circumstances than the retail madness we witnessed in late November. 28-year-old Jennifer Strange of Rancho Cardova, CA was found dead inside her home on Friday afternoon after competing in a radio station-sponsored competition which pitted hopefuls against one another for the prize of Nintendo's latest and greatest. Instead of competing on the playing fields of Wii sports or the Japanese streets of Red Steel, however, contestants gathered inside the studios of Sacramento's KDND The End to see who could drink the most water without urinating. The ridiculously-titled "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest had entrants imbibe eight ounces of water every fifteen minutes for 90 minutes, after which they were given larger portions until a winner emerged. Ms. Strange -- who did not win -- left the studio in tears, and she was last heard from by her employers at Radiological Associates of Sacramento complaining of a terrible headache. Autopsy results released yesterday showed signs of water intoxication, wherein the body's electrolyte levels are dangerously unbalanced due to a rapid intake of the seemingly harmless liquid. A spokesperson from The End came out with the usual sob story following news of Strange's death, but at least one of her coworkers thinks the station should have done more to prevent this tragedy; it's probably a pretty safe bet that a lawsuit is forthcoming.
Report: Jokes About Balls And Assholes Are Still Funny
I know it's a day or so late, but these were my two favorite Golden Globes speeches. Sacha Baron Cohen was hysterical, and Forest Whitaker literally could not finish a sentence.
EDIT: Sorry folks...Mr. Whitaker's speech from last night was taken off of YouTube. In it's place, I give you a cat dancing. Listen to it once, and try to go the rest of the day without singing it to yourself. I dare you...
Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson...ELLEN Wilson?!?!?
Separated at birth...
When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Luke and Owen Wilson basically play the same guy in every single movie they're in. And who has Ellen played in her career? She played a character named Ellen on her sitcom, the creatively named "Ellen", and now she makes a living playing herself on her talk-show.
Sadly, between the three of them, only one of them is interested in women.January 16, 2007
I'm bringin' Sammy Back...
Guess who's back...back again...
Apparently Sammy Sosa had a workout for the Rangers yesterday in hopes of getting invited to Spring Training. What a douche.
Just for fun, compare Sosa in 1989...
...to Sosa in his..."bigger" days.
Fugly: Describes someone who is so far beyond ugly, they are fuckin' ugly.
Remember Kelly Clarkson? The lady that from 2005-2006 was the woman that haunted my dreams? The impossibly attractive and always out-of-your-league Idol to us all?
Prepare to refer to her as "the old" Kelly Clarkson.
Say hello to "the new" Kelly:
I guess the Rosie O'Donnell look is coming back.
I know what you're thinking...that I shouldn't make fun of a celebrity for having the courage to go out of the house without makeup on. But seriously people, I gave this woman my completely unknown and unreturned love from afar for the better part of a year, and now that we're through, she just lets herself go?
How could she go from this...
...to this?
I guess the Rosie O'Donnell look is making a comeback.
January 15, 2007
Fuck Charles Dickens
This Saturday, the Chicago Bears will host the New Orleans Saints in the NFC Championship game as the underdogs. At the time of this writing, the Vegas line hasn’t come out yet, so this is just speculation, but no one is giving the Bears a chance. The Monsters of the Midway finished the season with a record of 13-3 and captured the number one seed in the NFC, but according to the critics and sportswriters, there’s no way that the Bears’ recently-struggling defense will be able to keep up with the likes of Drew Brees, Deuce McAllister, Reggie Bush and Marques Coleston. Despite the game being in
And I’m perfectly fine with that. It actually makes me glad. No one expects the Bears to do much of anything, and I couldn’t be happier about that.
No, I’m not playing the oh-so-used ‘disrespect” card. I’m not trying to give the
I know, I know…a
It is…the Curse of Great Expectations.
That’s right…every time there are great expectations put on any of our beloved sports teams, or even the White Sox, that is when their seasons go up in flames. Sometimes the Curse can be held at bay for a few starts, a couple quarters, hell, maybe even part of a season. But just like any evil supernatural force, it’ll get you eventually.
I didn’t start getting into sports until right when I got into high school, but in those 9 years, there’s still enough examples of the curse to fill up a good-sized article (hmm…). Now chances are that unless you’re a complete boob, you may not have had time to pay attention to 5 professional teams over the better part of a decade. Luckily for you, I am, and so I can give you examples of the curse in all of its glory.
Cubs: Although they aren’t the only team in
Despite the loss of Wood and the struggles of role players who had put up career years in 1998 such as Gary Gaetti and Mickey Morandini, the Cubs found themselves just one game behind division leading Astros on the eve of interleague play. The Astros had lost earlier in the night, and everyone expected the Cubs to finish their 3 game sweep of the Arizona Diamondbacks, which would give them a tie for first place, before heading to the South Side of Chicago for a series with the White Sox.
Fate had other plans.
Instead of beating the Diamondbacks, Randy Johnson dominated the Cubs for most of the evening. The Cubs then went into
The next time anything was expected of the Cubs was in 2003. Behind the arms of Mark Prior and a healthy Kerry Wood (what???), the Cubs were the favorites to win the NL Central. When the Cubs clinched their first division title since 1989 on the second to last day of the season, the curse seemed to be defeated. The Cubbies then snuck past the Braves in 5 games and jumped out to a 3-1 series lead over the Marlins. It’s safe to say that with Prior and Wood due to pitch games 6 and 7 if needed, the Cubs were expected to make their first World Series since 1945.
Do I need to go on?
But the Curse didn’t stop there. Possibly as repayment for attempting to break it, the Curse came back with a vengeance in the years after 2003. The Cubs were expected to compete again in 2004 and 2005, and did…for a while. In truly heartbreaking fashion, the Curse waited until late in the season to dash the postseason hopes of the Cubs. Even the individual players weren’t immune. When the 2006 season started, Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee seemed to pick up right where he left off from his 2005 MVP-caliber season. Then a freak injury and family health issues prevented Lee from playing most of the season.
White Sox: Remember the 2000 White Sox? They came out of nowhere to win more games than any other team in baseball. They were heavily favored to win their series over the wild-card Seattle Mariners. The Curse kicked in, and the Sox hit .185 while getting swept by
After winning a World Series title in 2005, the 2006 White Sox were favorites to become the first repeat Series champs since the 2003 Yankees after they brought in Jim Thome in the offseason. The Sox struggled and failed to even make the postseason.
Bulls: I know what you’re all thinking. Yes, we all know that the Bulls of the 1990’s had great expectations put on them, and they came through and wound up winning 6 titles in 8 years. But this doesn’t mean that the Bulls are Curse-proof. The only thing that could keep the Curse at bay for the better part of a decade was the absolute inhuman will to win of the greatest athlete of all time. And because Mr.
And the beat just kept going. In the 2004-2005 season, the Bulls made the playoffs and won their first playoff game against the Washington Wizards in exciting fashion. The Bulls were expected to put away the wizards in 5-6 games, but instead lost a handful of close ones en route to being eliminated themselves 4 games to 2. Making sure that no one has forgotten about it, the Curse has already jumped onto this season’s Bulls, causing them to start out 3-9. Even though they’ve rebounded a bit, don’t overlook their 5-12 road record.
Blackhawks: The Blackhawks have suffered under the Curse of Great Expectations in as much that we expect them to be a professional hockey team every year, and every year, they can’t live up to those expectations.
Bears: Finally, we come to the Bears. My mom always tells me that in the mid-to-late 80’s, the Bears were expected to win at least 2 or 3 more Super Bowls than they actually did. The Curse caused them to draft Cade McNown over Daunte Culpepper, David Terrell over Santana Moss and Deuce McAllister, Reggie Wayne and Todd Heap. The Curse crippled favored Bears squads against
Now the interesting thing is that the Curse has a Reverse. It seems like every great
So let the experts at Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com pick the Saints to run through Soldier Field on their way to
After all, just about everyone picked
