Fuck Charles Dickens

This Saturday, the Chicago Bears will host the New Orleans Saints in the NFC Championship game as the underdogs. At the time of this writing, the Vegas line hasn’t come out yet, so this is just speculation, but no one is giving the Bears a chance. The Monsters of the Midway finished the season with a record of 13-3 and captured the number one seed in the NFC, but according to the critics and sportswriters, there’s no way that the Bears’ recently-struggling defense will be able to keep up with the likes of Drew Brees, Deuce McAllister, Reggie Bush and Marques Coleston. Despite the game being in Chicago, in front of football-crazed maniacs that practically willed the defense to consecutive game saving stops late in last weeks game against the Seahawks, in frigid weather no less, the Saints are expected to continue their Cinderella season straight into the Super Bowl.

And I’m perfectly fine with that. It actually makes me glad. No one expects the Bears to do much of anything, and I couldn’t be happier about that.

No, I’m not playing the oh-so-used ‘disrespect” card. I’m not trying to give the Chicago coaching staff newspaper clippings to slap onto the locker room bulletin board for motivation. This goes beyond pre-game smack talk. This is something much bigger in every sense of the word. This is destiny. This is a curse.

I know, I know…a Chicago fan (an admitted Cubs fan no less) throwing around the big “C” word. Real original, right? But it’s true. There is a curse over the Cubs, whether it was put there by a goat, cow, rooster or whatever. But the Cubs shouldn’t flatter themselves by pretending that they’re the only ones suffering from this curse. Make no mistake., it affects all Chicago sports teams.

It is…the Curse of Great Expectations.

That’s right…every time there are great expectations put on any of our beloved sports teams, or even the White Sox, that is when their seasons go up in flames. Sometimes the Curse can be held at bay for a few starts, a couple quarters, hell, maybe even part of a season. But just like any evil supernatural force, it’ll get you eventually.

I didn’t start getting into sports until right when I got into high school, but in those 9 years, there’s still enough examples of the curse to fill up a good-sized article (hmm…). Now chances are that unless you’re a complete boob, you may not have had time to pay attention to 5 professional teams over the better part of a decade. Luckily for you, I am, and so I can give you examples of the curse in all of its glory.

Cubs: Although they aren’t the only team in Chicago to suffer from the Curse, the Cubs are the most well known. My first experience with the Curse was in 1999. The Cubs were coming off of their miraculous wild-card season of 1998, and the Cubs were not only expected to compete for the NL Central division, but also the World Series. In Spring Training that year, Kerry Wood, also expected to compete for a Cy Young, woke up with a little discomfort in his throwing elbow. We all know how that one turned out…

Despite the loss of Wood and the struggles of role players who had put up career years in 1998 such as Gary Gaetti and Mickey Morandini, the Cubs found themselves just one game behind division leading Astros on the eve of interleague play. The Astros had lost earlier in the night, and everyone expected the Cubs to finish their 3 game sweep of the Arizona Diamondbacks, which would give them a tie for first place, before heading to the South Side of Chicago for a series with the White Sox.

Fate had other plans.

Instead of beating the Diamondbacks, Randy Johnson dominated the Cubs for most of the evening. The Cubs then went into Cominsky Park and got swept by the Sox. But the fun didn’t stop there. The Cubs completely self-destructed, losing 10 of their next 11. After starting out 32-23 and competing for a division title, the Cubs went 35-72 to finish with a 67-95 record.

The next time anything was expected of the Cubs was in 2003. Behind the arms of Mark Prior and a healthy Kerry Wood (what???), the Cubs were the favorites to win the NL Central. When the Cubs clinched their first division title since 1989 on the second to last day of the season, the curse seemed to be defeated. The Cubbies then snuck past the Braves in 5 games and jumped out to a 3-1 series lead over the Marlins. It’s safe to say that with Prior and Wood due to pitch games 6 and 7 if needed, the Cubs were expected to make their first World Series since 1945.

Do I need to go on?

But the Curse didn’t stop there. Possibly as repayment for attempting to break it, the Curse came back with a vengeance in the years after 2003. The Cubs were expected to compete again in 2004 and 2005, and did…for a while. In truly heartbreaking fashion, the Curse waited until late in the season to dash the postseason hopes of the Cubs. Even the individual players weren’t immune. When the 2006 season started, Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee seemed to pick up right where he left off from his 2005 MVP-caliber season. Then a freak injury and family health issues prevented Lee from playing most of the season.

White Sox: Remember the 2000 White Sox? They came out of nowhere to win more games than any other team in baseball. They were heavily favored to win their series over the wild-card Seattle Mariners. The Curse kicked in, and the Sox hit .185 while getting swept by Seattle. Did I mention that the Sox’s season ended on a run-scoring Mariners bunt?

After winning a World Series title in 2005, the 2006 White Sox were favorites to become the first repeat Series champs since the 2003 Yankees after they brought in Jim Thome in the offseason. The Sox struggled and failed to even make the postseason.

Bulls: I know what you’re all thinking. Yes, we all know that the Bulls of the 1990’s had great expectations put on them, and they came through and wound up winning 6 titles in 8 years. But this doesn’t mean that the Bulls are Curse-proof. The only thing that could keep the Curse at bay for the better part of a decade was the absolute inhuman will to win of the greatest athlete of all time. And because Mr. Jordan was able to hold the Curse at bay for two separate three-peats, when he retired, it came back with a vengeance. In the three seasons after Jordan retired from the Bulls for the final time, the Curse that had been put on hold for all of those championship years wreaked havoc. In each of those seasons, the Bulls posted worse winning percentages than the year before, going from .260 to .207 to .183 in making coach Tim Floyd into the worst coach in NBA history in terms of overall record.

And the beat just kept going. In the 2004-2005 season, the Bulls made the playoffs and won their first playoff game against the Washington Wizards in exciting fashion. The Bulls were expected to put away the wizards in 5-6 games, but instead lost a handful of close ones en route to being eliminated themselves 4 games to 2. Making sure that no one has forgotten about it, the Curse has already jumped onto this season’s Bulls, causing them to start out 3-9. Even though they’ve rebounded a bit, don’t overlook their 5-12 road record.

Blackhawks: The Blackhawks have suffered under the Curse of Great Expectations in as much that we expect them to be a professional hockey team every year, and every year, they can’t live up to those expectations.

Bears: Finally, we come to the Bears. My mom always tells me that in the mid-to-late 80’s, the Bears were expected to win at least 2 or 3 more Super Bowls than they actually did. The Curse caused them to draft Cade McNown over Daunte Culpepper, David Terrell over Santana Moss and Deuce McAllister, Reggie Wayne and Todd Heap. The Curse crippled favored Bears squads against Philadelphia and Carolina in their past 2 playoff appearances before this season.

Now the interesting thing is that the Curse has a Reverse. It seems like every great Chicago season comes along when there are absolutely no expectations at all. The following seasons came along when the teams that played in them were not expected to do much of anything: The Bears in 2001 and 2005, the Bulls in 2005 and 2006, the White Sox in 2000 and 2005, and the 1998 and 2001 Cubs. As I mentioned earlier, the only team in recent memory to fulfill a large amount of what was expected of them was the tragic 2003 Cubs. Again, I don’t have/want to say anything else about this.

So let the experts at Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com pick the Saints to run through Soldier Field on their way to Miami this Saturday. Let them set the odds at 3-1 for Reggie Bush and company. That’s the way I like it.

After all, just about everyone picked Seattle last weekend. How did that work out again?