VOTE FOR MY NEW MORTAL ENEMY!!!

I didn't realize it till today, but now that I'm out of college, I no longer have a mortal enemy.

I guess I never really thought about it, but now that I have, I feel empty. I need something to hate, to rally against...something to despise!

That's where you come in.

Below, I have listed the 5 candidates to be my mortal enemy. To your right, you'll see a poll where you can vote for who my new mortal enemy will be.

The Challengers:

Jared Leto


THE CASE: I used to like Jared Leto. I thought he was ok in Fight Club. He played a pretty impressive cokehead in Lord of War. But now that his band has taken off and he's acting loke a punk bitch, I can't stand him. Lose the womens jeans. Lose the guy-liner. Just looking at this guy makes me want to take a dump on him.

I still like his performance in Fight Club though...because he gets his ass handed to him by Ed Norton. THAT'S a real man!

Chad Kroger


THE CASE: You all should know how I feel about this putz. The only new piece I'll add to the puzzle right now is that he looks like the guard from the Minnesota Lynx WNBA team:



Fo' rizzle.

Roger Clemens


THE CASE: He fucked over Boston by becoming a selfish lazy bitch, and then when he went to the Blue Jays, he suddenly became motivated and started working out/taking steroids. WTF? You didn't have the motivation to stay in shape in Boston, but you find inspiration in CANADA? Clemens is one of the most selfish athletes of all time. I would punch him in the face...if he didn't weigh almost 100 lbs more than me.

People From Delaware


THE CASE: I don't know why...I just freakin' hate them. Next.

Darth Vader


THE CASE: Come on...how could I have a list of potential Mortal Enemies and not include Darth Vader? He's the Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Roger Federer and Albert Pujols of evil...combined! And I'm not talking about the punk-ass Mannequin Skywalker/Vader from Episode III. I'm talking about the I'll-cut-my-own-son's-hand-off-and-force-squash-your-testicles-with-a-single
-thought Vader.


VOTE! NOW!