Cop Tickets And Other Notes For The Day

"Don't make me take myself to jail..."

So here's a funny story to wake up to: a cop in Green Bay wrote a ticket...for himself! Apparently this police officer was following a speeder and had to swerve to miss a snowblower wheel coming around a turn and he accidentally rear-ended the speeder. So after about 3 weeks, the cop said that it was bothering him so much that he wrote himself a $160 ticket for improper lane use that he fully intends to pay. Yeah, I fully intend to be nicer to poor people, but it doesn't mean that I'm gonna do it...

Other stories of interest:

• A dude in Saudi Arabia had part of his nose taken off by his 2 wives because he threatened to marry a third. The best part of the article is the fact that the headline is "Man's Wives Have No Sense of Humor". Mysteriously, they never tell what exactly happened to his nose, so all I can think of is Chris Farley in Dirty Work and the Saigon whore that bit his nose off.

"We meet again...NOSE BITER!!!"

• The German Army drafted a 4-week old baby. Do I really need to add anything else?

• Today is Dice-K Mania Part II, when Daisuke Matsuzaka makes his Fenway Park debut for the Red Sox against the Seattle Mariners. Everyone is making a big deal about the matchup, since the first pitch of the game will be from Matsuzaka to Ichiro, two of the biggest baseball icons from Japan. I can already tell that Ichiro will have a boner. Don't believe me? Check out his quote from this article:

"I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul," he says. "I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger."

Ummm...what? I smell a man-crush.