Florida Wins NCAA Championship...49 States Don't Care

Yes, Florida won its second straight national title in NCAA basketball. Yes, the Gators also won the BCS Championship too. But other than allowing me to win my first office pool ever (It's been 9 years!), I blame Florida for one of the most boring Final Fours in recent memory. I didn't enjoy the Big Dance at all this year.

Most of the ill-will I have toward the NCAA tourney I blame on Joakim Noah, the "leader" of Florida Gators. He's annoying, kind of fugly, and not even one of the 20 most talented players in college hoops.

Did I also mention that he's a woman?

Yes, I have done some research and found out the ugly truth: Joakim Noah is a woman. It's the most obvious thing I've ever seen. I mean, why else would (s)he go around screaming and yelling at every pedestrian thing (s)he does to try to demonstrate manliness? Noah yells after every single goddamn event (s)he's involved in.

Noah grabs a rebound:


Noah finds a decent parking spot:


Noah fits in a pedicure between classes:


Noah pours a bowl of cereal:


Why else would someone go out of their way to show us so many examples of "manliness" unless they were actually a woman trying to pass themselves off as a man?

At least Noah can guarantee that (s)he's going to be the top pick in next year's draft. The WNBA DRAFT!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!



Fine...need more proof? Look at these pictures and tell me that Noah isn't a woman!


"No one can denyyyyyy....this looooove...I have insiiiiiide...."


"And I giiiiive it all to youuuu....my love....my love..."


"My....endless loooooove..."